I Salute you

This to me is a surprise. I never thought I would find myself writing again drawing it from the death of my brother Jun (or Andy as friends call him). I've actually hated him in some point in my life. He was the favorite of my mom (though she denies it most of the time)but I guess any mother would feel like that especially so there is no one in the family who felt positive towards kuya. He have been jobless almost 3/4 of his life, wasn't able to manage a single relationship because of his drunkeness.

Kuya Jun is a person who would prefer to run away from things than to face them. He would drink till he drop to the floor whenever he's faced with reality. The latter part of his life I know he have tried to win back life. He was given hope a lot of times but left to the ground weeping by a lot of people.

I am fortunate enough to have been able to witness the chance that was given to him I was used as a tool to help him to in some way raise his dignity. It have not been much but he's proven his part to the person who loved him from beginning to end - Ima. I say that is all that matters, make the person who love you happy and contented to what they see in you and that's what he did. For that, I salute you bro!

Life after death

Have you heard about the cliche that goes, "There is life after death." Indeed there is, though I may interpret it differently - There are two sides of it. The life after the death of the person himself/herself and the life of the people whom that person left behind. We are always speaking about the life after the death of the person but as I see it there is really nothing to worry on that part of the story as we will all in one way or the other return to our creator at the end of the road.

What I am more worried is the life of the people who were left.

Fathers die leaving their children and wife behind to worry about their future if these children can pursue college when the mother is a plain housewife.

Mothers die leaving children behind with no one to look after their everyday needs, no one to guide them through the jungle of life.

I could go on and on but would clearly end up with questions in our mind... When someone dies where would their soul go? Would they be there to guide their loved ones still?

Life is like that, a phase we all go through so lets all make sure that we pass this phase in such a way we can leave beautiful stories for others to tell. Make your life a phase people can keep dear to their hearts. Mistakes happen, yes they do but that doesn't mean we should just let mistakes come as often. We were given the mind to think and the heart to feel for otherslets make use of them and lead a blissful life.

Death of a family member

June 8,2007 (around 10:30am), a sudden news came - he's dead. Kuya Jun have left his earthly body and have joined Tatang after 17yrs the senior and the junior have reunited again. The news was so sudden everyone who heard of it were totally shocked. he wasn't telling much about how he felt (if any) except for the itsy bitsy pain in his chest the past week. He would dab the "Manaoag oil" we brought home.

Yes, it was sudden but according to some friends and relatives he have left signs that he would be taking his journey on the other end. He was asking people questions like, "Pare, pag namatay ako pupunta ka ba?" "(on the funeral/burial of his friend in 2006 he uttered) Next year ako naman".

His life with us wasn;t that pleasant we would always feel bad about him because of his drunkenness and him being jobless. I am guilty of that myself. We'd always argue about that silently. There were times I know I've instilled the some pain in his heart but I am positive that he understands why. My condemnation of things may seem for me not to care for him but the later years of his life as people we both love have drawn us together. Karen and Ima have been a big part of the closeness we developed few months before his death. He would sentimentally say how much he appreciates how I pawned my cellphone just to bail him out of jail when he got into trouble December 2005. He knows that I'm the type who would do things that I mean, say what I mean no matter how much I try to be plastic I unintentionally become sincere with my acts.

I really admire how Ima took things upon her all this time up to the end for Kuya. She stayed by him all the time in her own special ways. A true 'mother' to him.

I find myself now thinking who would do this, who would do that..but then again, life is a journey sometimes we take turns and find ourselves no where to go but to face tomorrow with a prayer and a positive thinking, "everything will be okay."

His passsing a way was such an eye opener for me we really would not know what's behind the word "tomorrow". We should take every step of our journey the way they should. Do things with pride the way you know you will not regret in the end. I am glad I was able to give him a chance in some way that we haven't been felling bitter towards each other his last stay with us. We got to spend time laughing, talking about life though in a light way. I bet whereever he is now, he is watching over me and Ima in us he found a family. I have always felt thankful and happy for him when the news came - he deserves this rest, he deserves toget the life that's for him. A life with no pain, no sorrow, no hardship - a life with our almighty creator.